


We're Okay Now

by innertimetraveldetective



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Alya Fitzsimmons is too precious, Anxiety Attacks, Episode: s05e14 The Devil Complex, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Vomiting, it kinda about that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:42:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25933078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/innertimetraveldetective/pseuds/innertimetraveldetective
Summary: Thank you @fourohfour_error for beta reading! :DAlya sees Daisy's scar from The Devil Complex.  So follows and awkward (and slightly teary) conversation with her in Fitzsimmons's living room.   Later, Daisy has another nightmare about Fitz and tries to explain to Daniel.orFluff city but also angst with a sprinkling of anxiety.
Relationships: Daisy Johnson & Alya Fitzsimmons, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa
Comments: 21
Kudos: 242





	We're Okay Now

Daisy sat on the Fitzsimmons family’s sofa, Alya on her lap, the young girl’s blonde hair gently tickling Daisy’s chin. Jemma sat across from them, next to Daniel on another sofa, laughing at some old phrase the man out of time had used. Fitz sat next to Daisy, quietly watching the scene.

Daisy and Daniel had been back from SWORD for a week or so, staying with the Fitzsimmons family. The next day they were to travel back to America to see Daisy’s mom and give a lecture at the academy. She’d missed her family. Missed out on Alya’s first few years, the girl was just turning 6. Missed out on helping her mom rebuild the academy. Missed out on missions with Yo-Yo. It felt good to be back.

Occasionally, on Zephyr 3 her heart ached for what had been. She ached for the bus, for Fitz and Jemma, for the days when they’d been young and carefree. They were all happy now, just not in the same way.

Alya shifted a bit in her lap, turning around to face Daisy. She smiled a bit and lifted her small hands to play with Daisy’s hair. The woman scrunched her nose a bit. 

“You really are a little monkey, aren’t you.” Daisy said, laughing a bit as Alya fiddled with a small clump of hair. Jemma smiled from the sofa opposite them, her eyes reflecting the warmth Daisy felt.

“Daddy says I’m his little monkey.” Alya very matter of factly informed her.

“Does he indeed?” Daisy looked at Fitz, only a little bit teasingly. “You know, your daddy always wanted a little monkey. Ever since I met him all those years ago.” Alya giggled at that, and looked at her father. She got distracted. Pulling Daisy’s hair aside, she found a strange mark on her neck. She placed her hand over it. Daisy froze.

Frowning a bit, she asked “What’s that?”. The energy in the room shifted. Jemma stood up and went to take Alya’s hand to guide her elsewhere.

“Jem it’s fine.” Daisy shot Fitz a hesitant look. He nodded grimly and moved across to sit with Jemma and Daniel. Daniel looked around, confused.

“Hey, what’s going on? She’s a superhero, of course she has scars.” Fitz sighed quietly and gestured to Jemma to explain, his words failing him. 

“That one is... different.” Jemma said.

“Mummy-” Alya said, dragging the ‘e’ sound out “What’s wrong with Auntie Daisy’s neck?”

Daisy cleared her throat. 

“See little monkey, a long, long time ago your daddy had to make a very big decision. I couldn’t use my big superpowers, and he realised that I needed them.”

Fitz looked up at her, his voice shaking, eyes tearing up a bit.

“Daisy, you don’t have to.”

“No it’s okay. She’s a smart kid.” Daisy continued, 

“Your daddy made it so I could use my power again. He saved a lot of lives, but it meant that I got a big scar.” Daisy's eyes welled up, she held onto Alya just a bit tighter to conceal her shaking hands. Fitz stood up again on shaky legs and sat down next to them and took his daughter so Daisy could collapse next to Daniel.

“See my little monkey, it was the only way.” He hated how his voice sounded. He knew he’d have to explain things like this to Alya at some point, didn’t mean that he hated it any less.

“But that doesn’t mean that I didn’t do a bad thing.” He looked at Daisy. 

“What I did was very bad and wrong, and I’ve said that I’m sorry to Daisy. You understand?” Alya nodded a bit. 

“So you’re why Auntie has a funny mark?” Fitz looked down again, a single tear streaming down his cheek, unable to look the child in the eye. She was too young, too innocent. He held her tightly.

“Yas, sweetie. But that was all a long time ago, and of course daddy would never hurt anyone now. It was a… complicated situation.” Jemma said gently.

Daniel took Daisy’s hand and squeezed it a bit. Alya clambered out of Fitz’s arms and over to Daisy, Jemma and Daniel.

“Are you okay?” Alya looked at Daisy, her hand tight in Sousa’s, tears threatening to fall down her cheeks. Her voice sounded all wrong,

“I’m okay now little monkey. What your daddy did was just a bit scary, but we’re okay now. I even ran around in space with your mom for an entire year to find him!”

Alya’s eyes widened, childish excitement filling them. 

“An entire year?” she asked, evidently more surprised about that than the fact that Daisy had been to space.

“I know! One time, your mom and I accidentally took some wild alien L-”

“Daisy!” Jemma interrupted, looking at her best friend with *those* eyes.

“Right, sorry. We ate some bad alien food and your mom saw daddy in a monkey costume!”

Alya giggled. 

“So you and daddy are friends again?” Daisy and Fitz nodded, exchanging another look, despite neither of them being quite sure what they were trying to communicate.

“Okay.” Alya said simply, as though that was all the closure she needed on the matter. 

“You’re sure you understand, monkey?” Fitz asked, a bit nervously.

“Well you hurt Daisy a long time ago, but it’s all ok now because mummy and Daisy ran around in space to find you and had some bad alien food.”

Daisy chuckled a bit through the beginning of her all too familiar fog. 

“Yup, that’s pretty much it.”

...

Alya had long since gone to bed. They were all sitting in the living room, the awkwardness of earlier long since forgotten through the business of the day. By Jemma, Daniel and Fitz, anyway. 

They’d all had a picnic afternoon, running around on the damp green grass, playing with Alya and eating scones. Imagine that. Daisy thought. Quake eating scones. Living in domestic bliss. Almost. She hated how hard the conversation with Alya had hit her. 

She’d barely let go of Daniel for the afternoon, if not clinging to him then holding Alya tight (when the girl was willing. Hardly a surprise that Fitz’s daughter was so stubborn). She thought it was stupid. She knew Fitz wouldn’t hurt her again. She knew he wouldn’t dare. She knew he didn’t want to. But it pained her, how hard it had been to be around him that day.

After they’d talked to Alya she'd gone to the bathroom. She sat frozen on the bathroom floor. She didn’t know how long she was there for. She tried to stand and she retched, bitter, acidic bile falling into the toilet. She felt tears fall down her cheeks and wiped them away in frustration.

She splashed some water against her face and looked up into the mirror. She didn’t see her face looking back at her. An utter stranger was gazing back, mimicking her expression. She took a hand up to the mirror, ignoring the fuzziness in her brain. She traced the stranger’s features. The stranger was crying. She slammed her hands onto the sink in frustration, part of her hoping that the impact would clear the fog in her brain. No joy.

She rejoined the group and returned Jemma’s concerned look with a small smile.

She could barely look at Fitz. The echo of his gloved hand on her tingled against her neck. Her scar almost hurt. She knew she was kidding herself, and that was all years ago, even longer for Fitz, but she couldn’t figure out how to get herself out of the loop. 

Daniel squeezed her hand gently.

“Hey, you doing ok? You kinda drifted for a second there.” She forced a smile, annoyed at the badly masked concern behind his eyes.

“Yeah, fine. Just tired I guess.”

“Oh, we can turn in for the night if you want.” Daisy nodded a bit, standing up and heading over to hug Jemma goodnight. 

“See you in the morning,” the British woman said in her warm voice.

“Night, Fitz.” she said, heading out of the door and upstairs, Daniel following shortly behind her. 

...

She was laying on a cold table, her ears roaring. She tried to reach up with her hand, to rub her foggy eyes but she couldn’t move. She tried kicking, screaming for help, but all she felt was a cold hand on her neck. No. Not him. Not again. She begged him to stop, her pleas echoing in the silent room. She screamed and screamed for help, but no one came. He was cutting into her, his hands against her, his breath tickling her delicate skin. She felt her blood dripping down her neck and sobbed. 

“Daisy?”

A strange, yet familiar voice said. Someone was shaking her-

She jerked upright, her legs thrashing against the sheets. She grabbed the hands on her shoulders and continued crying, begging him not to do it. She could feel the room shaking around her, her quakes getting worse as she gradually got more distressed.

“Daisy? Daisy? Hey, you’re okay, it’s just me.” The hands moved from her shoulders, and she felt someone’s weight shift.

A light turned on and her vision flooded with sudden brightness. She shut her eyes tight and curled her legs up against her chest, hands hugging her knees. She continued pleading with him not to hurt her, rocking a bit in an attempt to comfort herself, trying to stop the unstable quakes before someone got hurt. She heard a door open.

“Daisy, Daniel? What’s going on?” 

“I-I don’t know, I swear, she was having a nightmare, so I woke her up.”

“Move, please.” She felt some weight shift on the mattress. A distinctly familiar English voice started talking.

“Daisy, I’m going to need you to look at me please.”  
She lifted her head a bit, hands still shaking, lips silently begging him to stop. She let her eyes meet Jemma’s. 

“Thank you. Is it ok if I touch you?” Daisy nodded slightly, relaxing some muscles that she didn’t know she’d tensed. Jemma carefully took her hands, ignoring the clamminess, and moved so she was facing Daisy fully.

“Hey, Dais. Can you tell me five things you can see please?”  
Daisy teared up a bit more, she felt the lump in her throat rise. 

“Hey, you’re ok, take your time.” her best friend soothed her, rubbing the backs of her palms lightly.

Daisy’s voice cracked a bit “I-I see you.” Jemma smiled and nodded encouragingly. 

“I see the bed. I can see the closet.” Jemma chuckled a bit.

“It’s a wardrobe but whatever.” she smiled at Daisy, relieved to see her friend smile back a bit. 

“Keep going you’re going amazing,” Jemma soothed.

Daisy's voice was a bit more stable now, the quaking gradually subsiding.  
“Uh, I can see the floor, and…” her eyes fell on Daniel, who was standing anxiously behind Jemma, watching, waiting.

“Oh.” Daisy said, her eyes desperately turned back to Jemma, her heartbeat raising once more. She frantically grasped her friend’s arms, clutching them tightly. How could she let this happen in front of him? She had to be strong, she’d shown him her weakness once before and she wasn’t ready to do it again. 

“Daisy, you’re okay. I’m here. Daniel isn’t going to hurt you.”  
Daisy shook her head violently, just wanting Jemma to understand. Of course she’d never dream that Daniel would hurt her, but she didn’t want him to see her like this, to see her weak. 

“I-I can’t, Jemma.” she suddenly understood. She took Daisy’s hand again so she’d know she was there and turned to face Sousa. 

“Can you please go and make us some tea?” she asked gently. The brunet looked a tad wounded, but this wasn’t about him. He nodded, glancing at Daisy once more before leaving. 

“Ok Dais, you’re ok, he’s gone.” Daisy collapsed into Jemma’s chest, she couldn’t feel her hands, she was too numb. She heard her sobs racking against her best friend but couldn’t find anything within herself to calm down. Jemma stroked her back gently, whispering soothing words in Daisy’s ear.

Once Daisy’s cries had quietened to pitiful whimpering, Jemma moved away a bit so she could face her.

“Do you want to talk about it, or try the grounding again?”  
Daisy thought about it. She had to tell Sousa something when he came back, and she’d prefer to be calm for it.

“Can we try another one of your hokey grounding things?” she sniffled, using her forearm to wipe her eyes. 

“I need to tell Daniel something.” Jemma nodded. 

“Let’s try counting. I like to count down from 400 in 7s, but you can join in when you want.”

“That’s fine.” Jemma started with 400 and Daisy joined in with 393. By the time they got to 232 Daisy was breathing easier. Daniel walked in holding two cups of chamomile tea (the kind he knew Daisy’s mum kept on Zephyr one during his time there) to find Daisy and Simmons quietly muttering something together. Daisy looked up at him through swollen eyes. 

“Um, hey.” he murmured delicately, not wanting to scare her again.

“Do you want me to stay?” Jemma asked Daisy, not quite sure what Daisy was planning on telling him, or even what she’d dreamed about. 

“It’s fine, Jem. Go back to sleep.” she told her, with a soft smile. Jemma left and Daisy leaned back against the headboard, patting the space next to her, gesturing for Sousa to sit down as well. He turned on their bedside light and turned off the main one, sitting down as he handed Daisy her cup of tea.

He sat patiently as she stammered and stuttered, trying to think of how to start. He placed a comforting hand on hers. 

“Take your time, it’s okay. I’m not going anywhere.” Daisy took a deep breath.

“Mack… Mack told you that I’ve been hurt.” she started tentatively, fiddling with the bottom of her shirt with one hand, the other gripping her tea with white knuckles. He nodded, wondering where she was going with this. 

“Well, sometimes I dream about it. Not just Lincoln, or Ward, who both left me heart broken in their ways. I dream about getting shot, and the pain, and my blood on Quinn’s hand. I dream about my mom,” she stopped as her voice broke a little, 

“I dream about Jiaying trying to kill me, draining my life force, even enjoying it. I dream about Hive, how he made me hurt people, and made me love him for it. I dream about losing Coulson, the pain of being so helpless in that situation, and the anger at him for being so resigned to death,” Daniel’s eyes were welling up a little. He hated how broken she sounded, how unlike herself she was, how she paused to regulate her breathing every so often.

“Usually, I’d have Jemma nearby. She was there for all of it. For Quinn, for Ward, for Lincoln, for Jiaying, for Hive, for Coulson. She knows me better than anyone. She can calm me down.”

“But she was too late today?”

“Just about, yeah.” Daisy grimaced .

“Can I ask you what you dreamed about tonight?”

Daisy inhaled sharply. 

“Fitz, or, I should say The Doctor really,” Daniel looked at her strangely, tentative curiosity behind his eyes. 

“Okay. I’m going to tell you something. Please, please promise me you won’t think of me as weak afterwards, or see Fitz any differently. I already have that covered.” Daniel frowned a little.

“You mean you? Quake?” he said, with an almost flirtatious tone. She rolled her eyes at him.

“Fitz hurt me. I explained it to Alya earlier, in 6 year old words. If we’re talking in grown up words then Fitz tied me down, cut into me and ripped an inhibitor out of my neck that was preventing me from ending the world.” Daniel’s jaw dropped. Daisy winced. He gently brushed her hair aside. She winced a bit at his close proximity to her scar.

“My god…”

“Yup. Explaining it to Alya earlier must’ve triggered something, I guess. I haven’t dreamed about it in a while.” She put her tea on the side and started to get out of the bed, taking a blanket with her. 

“Wait, where are you going?” Daniel was confused, he thought he’d been doing ok with her.

“I can hardly expect you to put up with sleeping in the same bed as me. Can’t risk more quakes or kicking.” she looked at the ground, feet shuffling uncomfortably. 

“Hey, Dais, this doesn’t change anything.” he caught her eye. 

“Everyone has their traumas, yours don’t make you any less of a person. It doesn’t mean I love or respect you any less.” he said, making his way toward her to embrace her. She hugged him back, feeling almost guilty for her surprise at how nice he was being. 

“I just don’t want to hurt you…” she told him.

“I assure you that you won’t.” he smiled into her hair and moved to kiss her forehead. She rolled her eyes at him, and planted a soft kiss on his lips before gingerly making her way back to bed. He turned the light off and laid down, pulling her close to him. He held her tightly, just wanting her to feel safe to be her with him.  
She exhaled deeply and drifted off into a light sleep.

... 

At the disgusting hour of 6 the next morning, little hands opened the door and a small blonde body came catapulting towards the bed. Daisy woke in alarm, and found herself in a heap of Daniel and Alya. He blinked himself awake, rubbing his eyes. Alya had wrapped herself around Daisy, giving the now wide awake woman lots of little kisses on her face.

“Hey little monkey, what’re you doing up so early?” Daisy asked, her voice husky.

“Well I went to see mummy and daddy first, but mummy told me to go and see you, because she thought you were sad.” Alya continued to hug Daisy. Sousa smiled a bit, and Daisy was content in the knowledge that her best friend continued to be a little shit, sending the blonde brigade to wake her up.


End file.
